I’m not your Superwoman.

I’m so inspired.

Last night, I attended a vision board party called Position to Win. (To get more information on this, email my friend here.) We, as women, got together, shared our struggles, our goals, and parts of our lives with each other.

One of the things mentioned was the idea of trying to do everything all by ourselves. A mindset that I’ve struggled with in the past but, to which I BOLDLY testified I no longer did. No longer do I don my Superwoman cape and bear all of the burdens that enter my space every day. No longer do I obligate myself when I’d rather go home, have a seat, and catch up on my T.V. shows. No longer do I feel guilty when I make myself a priority. But wait…

This morning, I woke up to a twinge of conviction. This feeling was all too familiar and I know now that my statement about not being Superwoman, was not COMPLETELY true.

Of course I don’t have a cool, sexy suit to put on when I’m saving the day. Nor can I just fly up into the outer edges of the atmosphere to conquer the day. (Wait…does Superwoman fly?) And yes, I was truthful about what I mentioned before but…

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I’m still trying to be Superwoman. I still try to do everything, meet every deadline, accomplish every goal. I didn’t recognize that this was the case because I’d learned to say “no” to people. I’d learned that I’m important, that I’m a priority.

What I didn’t see was that my businesses…that baby that I birthed four years ago and the one I was currently laboring to birth? Yes, them…Those two are super demanding and if I’m not careful, I will meet that super demand with a super effort. One that I don’t always have.

See, here’s the deal. We assume this role of “savior” because we either have trust (fear) issues or pride issues. In business, it’s that you don’t trust that someone else knows more than you or has a skill set that is better than yours OR, God forbid you just need help. I don’t know if I’m scared to delegate or if I just want to boast about the fact that I’m doing it alone but, either way, I’m taking this cape off. (Although this suit IS pretty sexy!)

Do you suffer from Superwoman or Superman complex? Do you find yourself trying to save everyone (or, in my case, everything?) Join me in making this a goal for this year: I will do what I can do and that will be enough.

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Yes! Let’s get it!

365 Grateful: Days 1 and 2

My goodness. Time really flies, eh? I haven’t really made time to blog as of late but, I’m no quitter. So, here goes (again)

Day 1

Today, I’m grateful for the fact that I made it through another year. I lost my marriage and my grandmother but, I did not lose my mind. In the process, I found my smile again and an beginning to learn who I am.

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Day 2

Today, I’m grateful for friends that I can spend quality time with. I saw Creed today. I think it was an AMAZING movie.  If you haven’t seen it, what are you waiting for?!?!

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Me, wasting time before the movie starts.

Death

It’s been a while since I’ve written… anything. Let me just be real. It’s been a while since I’ve done much of anything. I find victory in the fact that I’m still here, despite what I’ve been through.

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The past two years have been the hardest in my life. I went through a divorce that I wasn’t expecting and last night, I lost my grandmother. Death can come in many forms and quite honestly, I’m not wanting to see any more.

As a child, I spent so much of my time wishing I was grown so I wouldn’t have to do chores, stay at home, or follow 80 million rules. As an adult, all I want is the freedom of a child. I want to run around in the grass barefoot, to climb trees, and sit underneath the sun and watch the clouds all day. I want the opportunity to not be stressed or worry about the weight of the world on my shoulders… to not worry about failure, loss… to not worry about death, in whatever form it comes in.

As I lay here, waiting on the sun to rise, I think about my grandmother. How hard she worked in a yarn mill for decades. I think about her sense of humor, her quick wit, her no nonsense attitude. I think about her sweet potato pie that I used to love, her chicken dressing that I never got the recipe to, and how spending the night at her house meant fried chicken and rice for breakfast.

I think about my grandfather who is suffering with Alzheimer’s disease. I think about everything he and my grandmother went through together and in the end, nothing was left but their love for each other. I  think about how this disease could never be considered a gift except in that moment. 

Amist all these thoughts and feelings, I consider myself blessed. My grandmother helped raise me. It’s because of her that I am able to keep going in life. My strength, my determination, my witty sense of humor, it all is from her.

The last conversation I had with her was of her encouraging me to move on with my life after my divorce.  I saw how angry she was at what I was going through and I was glad because again, my grandma had my back and even now, I know that she always will.

Rest in peace, Grandma. I will always love you.

Stay

365 Grateful: 78 & 79

So, for the past couple of days, I’ve continued to push myself outside of my comfort zone. They seem like baby steps but, for me, they are huge because there was a time when fear would have stopped me from moving forward.

Thursday, I posted a video with a makeup look that I never would have considered doing a year ago. This is what happens when you stop caring about failing.

Yesterday, I received a message that literally moved me to tears and this was on top of an already rough week. I pushed passed my feelings (something I’m learning to do) and went out with my friend, Natasha.

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I stole this pic from her Facebook page.

Isn’t our makeup flawless? #shamelessplug