Category Archives: Standing

365 Grateful: Days 1 and 2

My goodness. Time really flies, eh? I haven’t really made time to blog as of late but, I’m no quitter. So, here goes (again)

Day 1

Today, I’m grateful for the fact that I made it through another year. I lost my marriage and my grandmother but, I did not lose my mind. In the process, I found my smile again and an beginning to learn who I am.

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Day 2

Today, I’m grateful for friends that I can spend quality time with. I saw Creed today. I think it was an AMAZING movie.  If you haven’t seen it, what are you waiting for?!?!

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Me, wasting time before the movie starts.
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The silver lining…

  Today is day 68 of my “365 Grateful” challenge and although I will probably post later on what I’m grateful for today, I felt a need to explain why I decided to participate. 

I tried this challenge before, you know. I tried to “be” grateful even though my world, as I knew it, began to fall apart. I could blame it on the fact that I picked the word “fearless” for the year or the fact that I needed healing (who doesn’t?). Instead of placing blame, I decided to take ownership. 

Do you know how empowering it is to actually take ownership? There’s power in focusing on what you CAN do and not what you can’t. So, in the midst of the fall out, I made a decision. I was never going to be this unhealthy again.

Usually when we think of unhealthiness, we think of junk food, a lack of exercise, and maybe a lot of television. But, I’m not speaking of unhealthy in the physical sense. Recognizing that you are physically unhealthy is a lot easier that recognizing if you are unhealthy emotionally.

Not dealing with issues, acting like everything is okay, and reasoning that always makes it someone else’s fault, will lead you to being emotionally unhealthy. It’s a sneaky culprit because we are taught by our environment that confrontations have to be avoided and crying is weak. Even small children learn to place blame of someone else to avoid getting into trouble. 

So how do we become healthy? Make a decision. Make a decision to do the work. Make a decision to work on yourself. For me, it’s a lot of prayer, reading, self talk, counseling…and taking ownership. For you, it may be something completely different. 

What does this have to do with being grateful? Well, part of my self care is to focus on what was good In my day, even if I have a hard time finding it. I don’t always hit the mark but, I always try. So, if you see me say, “Today wasn’t such a good day…” or “Yeah, today kinda sucked…” know that I’m being honest but, the fact that I posted means that I am trying. I’m in the process of grieving and it can be a lot sometimes. 

I wrote this post to encourage you. Work at seeing the silver lining. Work at being grateful for everything. Even the bad that occurs in your life is there to serve you. What is it that you can learn from it? 

Keep your chins up, your chests out, and conquer the friggin day!

Until next time…

Shine!

365 Grateful: Day 58

Today, I’m grateful for work. I know that sounds crazy but, I’ve realized throughout painful realities in my life that change will require two things: pain and work. I’ve felt and dealt with the pain. To be honest, I’m still dealing but, now it’s time to put the work in.

If I want to be successful, I have to work at being a person who has the integrity and wherewithal to handle success. If I want love, I have to work to be lovable and loving. If I want to be disciplined, I have to work at sacrificing what needs to be sacrificed in order for discipline to occur.

Nothing in life worth having, is not worth working hard for… or something like that.

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365 Grateful: Day 57 (late)

Today (yesterday, again), I’m grateful that God has given me perspective. For so much of my life, I have felt tossed and driven by other people’s opinions, other people’s desires, and my innate desire for a happiness that I’ve never been able to obtain.

Today, I take my power back. That power that God gives you at birth to choose Him. That power that you have to stand square footed against the enemy and say, “If my God is for me, what is the world against me?”

I don’t have to figure anything out or feel guilty because I can’t do or be what others want me to do or be. I can even let go of the guilt that I’ve placed on myself to be perfect…a goal that I’m obviously falling very short of.

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I can simply stay in this moment, take this breath, shed this tear, and live.

365 Grateful: Days 44-51

Yup…it’s been rough out here in these streets BUT, I am still here. I gotta be honest, I haven’t been grateful most of these days. I am, however, grateful for the following:

 
My lillies. They are finally blooming.

   

My art…for giving me something else to focus on.

  

My son…because he reminds me of what I’ve done right.

  

My business…for giving me purpose.

 
 My art room…because I’ve finally cleaned it and it’s my escape.

I’m still here‚Ķstanding.

Have you ever gone through something that you just knew was going to take you out of here? Something that is so hard, so painful that you don’t know how to move forward from it? That’s where I am.

I try very hard to press past my pain and keep one foot in front of the other but, I just can’t right now. Most of the time, all I want to do is get back into my bed, pull the covers over my head, go to sleep, and pray that when I wake up, this will all have passed. That’s what I want to do but, I just can’t.

There are people and things in my life that demand my attention. It’s probably better that way. I have something other than myself to focus on.

In the midst of all of this, there’s this little flicker of hope that still dwells within me. If you were to take a look at my situation, I shouldn’t have any hope. I feel crazy, stupid even for looking for a light at the end what seems to be a perpetual tunnel. Even still, it’s there. This little voice that is sweetly saying, “Don’t give up.”

Trust me. I’ve given up before, a couple times. I walked away and justified it by blaming other people or saying that it was too hard. Giving up is always easier than just standing.

Standing still and seeing God fight on your behalf is hard to do. Our natural instincts scream “fight or flight” and standing is neither. Sometimes, we have to go against what our desire is and just be obedient.

I’m not sure what God has in store for me. I don’t know why what happened, happened. What I do know is that I’m still here and that means there’s still something for me to do.